So it's been a long time since I've updated my blog and I finally decided to do it today.  

My life so far, it's been okay. Not very happy though..... I barely passed my exams and my parents told me that if I retain, I'd migrate to Philippines and study there instead. Surprisingly, I was promoted. I mean I'm fine with being promoted with all my friends and stuff but at the same time, I really want to migrate and have a new life. Forget everything I did here in Singapore. Especially all the bullshit. But I'm fine with whatever. 

And so, it's been months since I've talked to Joanne and I finally got over her. Or at least I thought did. I saw her in church today, standing right in front of me. And I looked at her and remembered how pretty she was. How beautiful she is. And now, after seeing her, I miss her more than I ever have. I miss her so damn badly. Talking to her all day, going to church together and just sitting alone, talking, cuddling, hugging, her lying on my shoulder. I miss it all. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss her but she obviously wouldn't care about me anymore. I want to talk to her so badly. I miss her. I just want her back so badly. I really need her. But there's nothing I can do anymore. She used to be my best friend. She promised me that we would stay friends no matter what happens to us. But i guess promises are meant to be broken. I just really need to get everything off my mind. I can't wait to just go back to the Philippines and just spend time with my whole family. Hopefully I can somehow convince my parents to let me migrate 

Bad week

So it's been going really well with her. Till this week. We had a fight. Or at least I think we did. We were both at church together with some other friends. I was stupid. I kept talking about Kelley. It made her jealous. She thinks I would like her. I would never. That's kind of disgusting. I was only talking about her because I was going to attend mass with her. She wants to attend attend alone so I'll let her. But I don't like attending mass alone so I need someone to attend with. But I just ended up serving. Because of all the company, I never get to talk to her. I can't even get a proper hug. But I guess she doesn't mid it as much as I do. I'm trying my best to talk to her every time so there wouldn't be any awkward silence. I'm not really shy when I'm with her now. Just not a but shy when it comes to cuddling. Which we can't do until we're together. We still get to hold hand though. But I'm probably going to die during this break. I'm probably not going to be celebrating my birthday with her anymore because I'm sure se doesn't want to. It's okay. I'm just going to sleep. Also may quit servers by April or something. N levels is next year. I'm going to start studying. I really want to graduate at sec 4 so I can graduate the same time as her. I wouldn't want her to wait for me. Need to get 11 points and below for N levels. It's going to be hard. But I'm willing to do it for her. If we even last that long. Which I hope we do.