Bad week

So it's been going really well with her. Till this week. We had a fight. Or at least I think we did. We were both at church together with some other friends. I was stupid. I kept talking about Kelley. It made her jealous. She thinks I would like her. I would never. That's kind of disgusting. I was only talking about her because I was going to attend mass with her. She wants to attend attend alone so I'll let her. But I don't like attending mass alone so I need someone to attend with. But I just ended up serving. Because of all the company, I never get to talk to her. I can't even get a proper hug. But I guess she doesn't mid it as much as I do. I'm trying my best to talk to her every time so there wouldn't be any awkward silence. I'm not really shy when I'm with her now. Just not a but shy when it comes to cuddling. Which we can't do until we're together. We still get to hold hand though. But I'm probably going to die during this break. I'm probably not going to be celebrating my birthday with her anymore because I'm sure se doesn't want to. It's okay. I'm just going to sleep. Also may quit servers by April or something. N levels is next year. I'm going to start studying. I really want to graduate at sec 4 so I can graduate the same time as her. I wouldn't want her to wait for me. Need to get 11 points and below for N levels. It's going to be hard. But I'm willing to do it for her. If we even last that long. Which I hope we do.